Wants and Needs

I've been realizing lately that the older I get my wants have drastically changed. I know it tends to happen but I've always been the type of person who matured very young and was very certain about her life goals. I've always wanted to fall in love. I always knew this wasn't a Prince Charming type of love. I've always wanted a spanning through ages type of love. It sounds incredibly cheesy. It also doesn't sound like me to most people. I keep this admission close to the vest. I wanted that love and eventually have a family. Now, I'm not sure I truly want that anymore. In these notions I tended to forget about myself. I'm not saying I wanted a barefoot and pregnant lifestyle but I did start to fall behind my imaginary love. It didn't become evident until my last relationship. I lost that prospect of being complete with just myself before loving someone else. The relationship wasn't healthy in any regard but it showed me my terrifying reflection. I was bowing down to a man's dreams instead of my own because I loved him so much. I was afraid to let go. It took a lot of soul searching and now I really do feel like I'm close to completion. I'll never truly escape certain demons but I know who I am and want I really do want. I want to create things I am proud of. I want to travel the world. I want to be a better person. And ultimately I still do want a family whether that be with a partner or not. I know I'll be a great mom. I always have had a lot of love to give and my child will feel all of that. Maybe, my soul mate is within my unborn future child. Life really is crazy sometimes and sometimes you really do need to lose yourself to realize that person you truly are.