Monday 30 November 2015

Afloat.


I can’t see you through the fog
A phantom
A ghost
Lost through the sea
You’ve forgotten me
But I stay still
Hoping
Aching
A void that will not be filled
Or even understood
I have the stars
Beyond the dark
The will keep me afloat.

Sunday 29 November 2015

4 A.M.


Restless as the night fades to the dawn
Hungry for what I cannot seem to face
Lonely as the silence takes hold
A new day approaches
Yet I lay awake
Hopeless
Dreaming
Empty

Monday 23 November 2015

Blackness


So I gave you all I had and you threw it away
I kissed your hand and you punched me in the face
Dreamed of you every night
Now my nightmares star your eyes
And then I shift to new lies
Something forms deep in my gut
It eats away at what I know
It fills my mind with blackness
It leaves me with no soul
It leaves the bottle empty
And me dry with nothing more
I wish I could stop the darkness
And save myself from the unknown
But can I save what’s already lost,
By the haunting of another soul?

Saturday 21 November 2015

Clutch


Clutch to your name
Cause nothing has changed
I’m still the girl who fears the pain
But revels in it
I see you from a distance
And wonder if your smile is real at all?

I should focus on me
Find a boy to fill the void
But your eyes still haunt me
You knew me better
I knew you less
Did it even matter?

I don’t still want you
This isn’t my play
Getting this off my chest is what I need
So my friends can finally forget your name
And maybe, I’ll find a reason to believe again.

Friday 20 November 2015

Urge


Drip feed me your lines
Bit by bit
Sigh by Sigh
I know you’re a liar
But so am I

I’ve fallen before
Head first
Backwards
You name it I’ve gone
Don’t tell me I’m wrong

I know your eyes
Green through the winter
Blue in the spring
Red when you see me
Black through everything

You know me with that echo
The voice of wanting
And the silly smirk
No one said this would be easy
But you know you wanna try

Just a taste of your lips
And we can say goodnight
No more passion plays
A fly by night
We can just be alive

Tuesday 17 November 2015

Let Me Touch You Where Your Heart Is


The villa was a dream itself. A white and brown, Spanish dream, sitting upon a waterfront of lilies and roses. The music of water rushing with tiny beats, a soundtrack that never ceased. He was leaning his arm against the wall in his tattered white jeans and retro button down shirt. He looked bored or even deep in thought. He paid no mind to the party going on around him. I observed him from the patio watching him with intense curiosity. I shouldn’t have been so invested in him but something in my blood screamed for me to examine him. So I did, and the more I observed the more my heart began to flutter. He was beautiful, like an Italian painting with Emerald green eyes, eyes that were distant, far from this exotic place. His hair was long and unkempt the color of chocolate that he couldn’t help but play with every time the wind struck him. I must have been staring for longer then I anticipated because his eyes caught mine with the same curiosity. He smirked at me, boldly.  He knew I was attracted to him and found no qualms in acknowledging it. I couldn’t look away so much so that I noticed his smirk formed on his left cheek, making him adorable as much as he was handsome. I couldn’t help but sheepishly smile back, my eyes quickly darting to the floor. I swore I could hear his laugh from the other side of the room. I pulled my wine glass closer to me like a cross, protecting me from a rather embarrassing moment. I looked up again and our eyes locked yet again. The room began to melt around us. I can’t remember how long it lasted but I could feel a gravitational pull making my resistance harder and harder with every wave. I knew I wouldn’t make the move. I couldn’t. His eyes froze me. I was incapacitated by him. After a few more moments, he mentally decided to approach me. He began to move towards me like a panther stalking his prey. My instincts finally kicked in and I began to make my way through the crowd. I knew he would follow and I didn’t care. I wanted the chase. I needed somewhat of an upper hand. My body was echoing a feeling that had long since been forgotten, desire. I wanted him, no, I needed him. He began to get closer so much so that I could smell his sweet cologne making my mouth water. I moved quicker.  I made my way inside, down the stairs, deeper and deeper until I hit the wine cellar. The sounds of the party dying upstairs and the sound of my breath hitching in my throat filled the old cellar. I waited the few seconds for him to reach me and without a moment of notice, he lightly slid his fingers over my spine, slower and slower, vertebrae by vertebrae. My body shivering with his touch. I turned slightly. My lips parting to make a sound.

“Shh…” He replied pulling me closer to the heat of his body, his hands gently tugging at my hair. He turned me slightly to face him and pressed my back to the wall. Only a breath away from his lips I could see his eyes. Those green eyes that could melt even the iciest of hearts, most importantly mine. Then second by second he got closer. He paused drinking every last bit of the moment in.

“Just kiss me…” I begged.

 He did, and nothing would ever be the same.

Beat


Breaking down
Flying past
Thoughts bursting
Hyper activity
Just another symptom
Shaking
Feeling
Nails down to the quick
Don’t speak
They won’t listen

Inspiration
Pain or loneliness
It doesn’t even matter
I am just a definition
Blood is the only thing that makes me real

Three Simple Words

I love you. Three simple words filled with such misery. You say them and then you say goodbye. Your bags are packed with a heavy heart. Was it something I said? Was it something I did? Why was she better? What is wrong with me? Tiny blue pills are given to fill the void and to fake the happiness I once felt. The pain is still there hidden by a dark haze. Lying await for the opportune moment to break me down all over again. I take more pills to fill a bigger void but you’re still not there. The dreams are fading. The tears still come. I see no escape. I’m just alone with sad three little words to you that you will never hear. I love you.

Saturday 14 November 2015

Paris, with Love.



Your beauty will never cease
Don’t let the light fly from your eyes
You will overcome
You will be stronger
You will be more marvelous then before
We’ll see you and fall in love all over again.

When will...


Bloody streets
Debris choking every breath
Pain circulating through the world
When will we learn?
When will stop relying on the chains around our neck?
When will this agony stop plaguing our short lives?
When will we realize we are all of the same flesh and this needs to end?
Will death be our answer?
Or can peace fight through?
  I want to live to know.

Wednesday 11 November 2015

I Have Loved You Since We Were 18...


Isn’t it scary to think that all our future romantic endeavors fall upon the silly decisions of love when we are 18? Our first loves make or break us. We can choose to learn or shut down. Part of us will always compare others to them no matter how great or horrible they may be. There touches, there kisses, or the way they made you feel. It lives in us like a tattoo on our minds. We never get past it. Do we want to? Or do these loves define us as people? Are they meant to push us down the roads we need to be or do they make us crippled by the youth we so long to keep? Maybe those lucky enough to keep there first loves are the ones who get to live in that bubble while the rest of us give into the undeniable pain of growing old and never sharing that heart-shattering love. Maybe, we really truly are ghosts of our own past love. Ghost that are destined to share fragmental love till the end.

Sunday 1 November 2015

London Fog


The fog rolls on foggy London town
The sound of silence breaking the deafening screams of the city
Wiping away the sins of Halloween
Renewing the time of fall into winter
Everything has changed
Everything is new
Should I fade with the fog or change with the season?