“You know what, Hailey?” He
stared at me with the same intense brown eyes that looked at me with love and
hatred. “I’m not as strong as you. Despite every belief you have ever had. I’m not. I
will never be. I crack every fucking minute of my life. Do you actually think I
want to be this addicted to something so fucking numbing? Do you think I want
to see that pain in your eyes every second I hold a bottle? Do you really
believe that? I’m not what you want me to be. I am never going to be as great
as you or live up to your expectations of me. So just leave. I know you want
to. I’ve seen the luggage in the hallway. I’ve heard the late night calls to
your friends. I get it. You can’t take it anymore. I’m not gonna blame you for
it or I’m not going to blackmail you into staying. I love you more than I can
stand and I wish I could do it for you but I’m not. Who knows? Maybe it’ll get
worse and I’ll die and you’ll never have to deal with my problems again.” He
caught what he had said and saw that I made a few steps forward. He
instinctively tried to hold his hands above his face but I slapped him before
he could. He just kept his head turned and we both stayed silent listening to
the city traffic screaming to both sides of us. He turned and stared at me. I
stared right back.
“I’m not as strong as you
think I am.” Was all I could say as I began to walk away. I could feel him behind me
hovering. He wanted to walk away but he needed to make sure I was safe.
Stubborn fool. This was the last straw. I can’t take it anymore.
After following me twenty
blocks, I finally reached Angie’s apartment. I slowly walked up the steps and
turned slightly to see him at the bottom looking like a pathtic puppy.
“Go home, Blaine. I’ll get
my stuff tomorrow.” I said as coldly as my voice could stand. He just stood
tense barely moving his eyes away from mine.
“I’m sorry,” He said in the
most heartfelt voice he could manage and for once it wasn’t enough.
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