From Eden

I am darkness. It becomes me. Consumes me. The creature made me who I am and then banished me. I cannot remember the light.  It was gone before I had ever realized what it truly was. It cursed me with knowledge and left me to isolation. Nothing had changed from eternity until that day.

It happened so quickly, the light. It was blinding and for once I felt fear. What punishment had it bestowed on me now? What else could I have done to upset it? I had hidden in the darkness, thrived in it, and been comforted in it.  Why had it changed now? I could feel new things being brought to life. It was creating and slowly destroying me.  I could sense new thoughts forming in my mind with every new creation. Rivers, animals, sky. Words, I never thought or said before. It’s punishment of my world of knowledge. I knew almost all of his thoughts except for why.  

This torture went on for seven days. Every day something new and terrifying. They were perfect specimens made out of its image trying to destroy me. It was no longer one on one rather it was a new world. My fear escalated the most when I saw what he called man. It took a strange familiar form that caused a jealously that I never knew existed before. I wanted to be this man. To feel, to touch, and when I saw her…to love.

She was standing in the middle of a green meadow singing. Her crystalline blue eyes shone brighter then the sky did and her hair like the sunlight, She seemed like a mirage, the jealously I felt for the man intensified. I wanted her, no, needed her. The word finally came to mind: Love. I loved her. Love at first sight.  I watched her for hours as she sang and lay in the grass. My love for her intensified and I knew my life was changing. She was changing me. That creature from above wanted to torture me. I felt like I couldn’t complain. I had never felt alive until I had seen her.

I didn’t do anything for days just to watch her. She never saw me, never knew me. I couldn’t bear for her to despise me. I watched and I knew she loved that man.  With intense rage I knew something had to be done. He had to be demolished and her love would envelop me. Without any rhyme or reason a plan presented itself. The creature created a green paradise full with juicy red apples of knowledge and told them to never eat or touch them. This women Eve, I heard her called, wandered there daily. She was as fascinated by it, as she fascinated me. I created a new form, one I was not accustomed to. The name came like a spark, a serpent, and an ugly slithering creature of seduction. The creature knew what it was doing; it was never going to be easy.

She sat on the grass before me and the world seemed to slip away. I seduced and pleaded with her to just take a tiny bite of the forbidden fruit. I knew once she did she would finally love me and want me like she had with that man Adam.  She listened and looked as if she truly wanted to but there was hesitation. She was unsure of me and the fear of the creature that had made her. I continued and finally a slight smile reached her perfect lips and she took it. She bit quickly and ran off without another word. I slithered as fast as I could to see what she was doing and why she ran so far from me. I saw her handing the apple to him. Her eyes bright with enlightenment. She was sharing what I gave to her with him. A new rage I had never felt before echoed through my scaly skin.

A flash of light consumed the perfect Eden and the creature was angry. Angrier then when it had banished me. They were to be punished like I was. They would leave Eden forever. I felt a joy in these simple words but I saw the look of sadness on her face and the pit of anger I felt turned to sadness. I never wanted to hurt her, I just wanted her love.

I followed as long as I could. The gates of Eden were beginning to close and the creature refused to let me follow them any further. They would be mine but first they must learn on their own, it told me. I watched as she turned around and looked at me with such hate. She had learned hate because of me. Those eyes I once loved filled me with sadness and self-loathing. She was no longer everything I had once loved.  She was human and nothing more. She was the death of whatever innocence I had left. The creature made me just like it. I truly was in hell. 

Monsters

It felt like a nightmare fighting to save itself from reality, but the barrier wouldn’t break.  Her dark blue eyes lost time around her. Green and brown was all she could see, consuming her. She could feel the mud caking over her stockings and ripping apart her new white dress. She wasn’t sure where she was and wasn’t sure if she’d ever leave. The sun was way beyond to give her some sense of place and time. The only thing she remembered was her name. Evelyn.  

Like a flash of lightening she saw it all. The monsters made her flea into the forest. She ran, she screamed, she begged, and she cried. She couldn’t see there faces but she knew they were chasing her. They wanted her to die. She ran until a branch caught her foot. She came tumbling down and hit her head. Evelyn touched the open wound and could fell the blood pouring out like a storm.  The pain hit instantly and she could barely even let out a whimper. She knew she was caught and would probably never escape again.  Her end was near.

The monsters caught her. Her body was pinned to the ground. Her ribs cracking beneath her, her body going numb as she’s shoved against the hard and uneven floor. The monsters were all over her now. Biting, clawing, and sucking ever bit of life left in her. She couldn’t tell what they wanted or why the wanted her. She couldn’t even make out a face. The face was just blackness. No eyes, no nose, no mouth absolutely nothing. Just blackness eating away. Why was this happening? What did she do to deserve this? She asked these questions to whatever god was watching this happening.  The beating didn’t stop. She couldn’t feel anything now but pain. The monsters damaged every single part of her body she didn’t know which part they were at now. Her fear turned to acceptance. She was going to die. It was all over now. She couldn’t find the sadness in her death. She couldn’t even remember her life before this agony, so what did it matter anymore?

The monsters stopped but the pain didn’t. The blood was still flowing, the bones were still broken, and the damage was done. She’d never know anything else in life.  She weakly closed her eyes. She listened to the sounds of the forests. She could hear nature at its finest but nothing out of the ordinary like she didn’t even exist in their world. She opened her eyes and saw the monsters were gone as if they were never there in the first place. She looked down at her body. It wasn’t in pain anymore, she was just caked in dirt. The blood was gone, everything was gone. Evelyn tried with all her strength to stand up. Her wobbly legs kept giving out underneath her. She finally managed to stand and stumble forward deeper into the forest. The scenery didn’t change but the sound did. Silence was a deafening sound. She ran again trying to regain any type of sound. She ran and as her body gave out beneath her, her world stumbled into black. 

A Hangover without an Escape

I woke up in your bed again

Regretting every moment

Feeling like I’ve been shot in the head

I hate myself around you

The things I let you do to me

You make me feel hungover

Of a love so wrong

I let you abuse me

Throw me out whenever you want to

I always go back to you knowing I deserve more

But I’d rather love you then let you hurt me over again

Maybe, one day I’ll let you go and find a love that needs me the way I need you

I always wake up alone

Finding pictures of girls you fucked

Why do I keep doing this?

When I know I’m nothing more

You never loved me and never will

This will be the last time

I will ever stay her

Or even let you touch me

I’m numb when I’m around you

And I need to feel

X2

I leave your dead apartment cold in the middle of November

It’ll be the last time you’ll see me

I took your favorite sweater and the piece of me you took away

I’ll finally be more then a mistress you hide away

Dancing on Hollywood Blvd

Tiny halls, music venues filled with smokes and booze

Just you and your guitar filling the room

You’re so much more attractive than TV does you justice

We’ve met before, before the fame kicked in and now I wonder do you remember the girl who knew you when

The chords strike up and I see

Tons of girls in the room prettier then me but your eye seems to catch mine

Making me feel like I’m the celeb of the room

You’re stealing my glances

Doing stupid dances

I say a word that you seem to have heard in the crowded bar

Oh baby what are you doing to me?

Your ex is in the corner glaring in my direction

And I think that Oscar winner’s daughter is waiting to meet you

The Paparazzi is following

And your best friend won his third Emmy

I’m just the girl you barely know

I take my chances for your romances

Wondering if this is truly meant to be

I’m drinking and eyeing for my moment

You’re surrounded

I build up my courage to watch it fall

As the girls seem to get at you from every side

I walk away and I hear my name

You’re standing right in front of me

My hands begin to shake and you touch my arm

Am I dreaming or did I fall?

Your ex is in the corner glaring in my direction

And I think that Oscar winner’s daughter is waiting to meet you

And your best friend won his third Emmy

I’m just the girl you barely know

My breath is in my throat

What are you going to do?

Step forward or let me go

Your lips a breath away

I can smell your cologne

Just kiss me and we’ll go

Find a room to hide away

Just you and me he whispered

And we danced away from his friends, his fan girls, and even that damn paparazzi